Thursday, July 2, 2009

2009, A year of the metal

Hey all, long time no see.

OK, so as most of you know, I love metal. I don't hate on other types of music, I just love metal. It's my jams. I do my best to convince my peeps that they should love metal as well, but still, only, like, a couple of my friends are fellow metal heads. I mean, I love my friends dearly, but seriously guys...be a little cooler. At least pretend every now and again.

Anyways, I've been super-stoked that this year has had a ton of super-badass metal releases, so here, I'll try to convince you to love metal...

first off
Lamb of God-Wrath

The most recent release from what is probably my favorite band is absolutely skull-fuckingly awesome. It's got everything a metal-head could ask for. I honestly expected flames to shoot out of the speakers when the opening riff of "In Your Words" started to blast. This is thrash metal at its best. Here, see for yourself...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xy0vIubcdA

Sorry for no embedding, but it might kill my blog for that much awesomeness to be just right there, staring at you. But, seriously, isn't that fucking badass. It is, isn't it. It's like in Bloodsport, when Van Damme is facing a pile of bricks, and he hits the top one, but has so much control that it only smashes the bottom one...It's like that. The fucking THRASH!!!!

Exhibit b
Cannibal Corpse - Evisceration Plague

The godfathers of Gory Death Metal bludgeon you with their newest release. These songs are fucking great...all about zombies and shit. It's just brutal. I might be willing to forgive you for not liking this, if songs about crazy monsters and zombies eating people aren't your thing. But give this a look...



see, Zombies and shit...and isn't Corpsegrinder like the scariest person in the world...who does nothing but play world of warcraft when he's not singing about murdering suckas. I mean, this is so badass, it's like that part in Bloodsport, when that big dude breaks Van Damme's friends back, and then just looks at him, and Van Damme is really worried about his friend, but still has a look in his eyes like he's gonna smash that dude..just like that.

Example 3
Mastodon - Crack The Skye

Now, this is a lot less brutal, but no less awesome. This is what passes for a metal concept album. It's all about a boy, and inter-dimensional travel, and, like, Rasputin takes over the kids body...and, like, the theories of Stephen Hawking...Fuck it, I have no idea what these songs are really about, but they are still dome-blowingly good.

Mastodon: Divinations - New Video


Yeah, that's right, a caveman playing a guitar solo...and a fucking yeti. Do you need any more convincing? This is like that part in Bloodsport, when the Asian tough guy challenges Van Damme to snatch the coin out of his hand, and he thinks Van Damme hasn't done it, but when he opens his hands he sees that Van Damme actually snatched the coin, and replaced it with another.

Next,
Goatwhore - Carving Out The Eyes of God

Now, I know what you're saying...Goatwhore, what kind of a name is that? It sounds to awesome to be true...Well, it's almost too awesome to be true, but it's true. Now, I might also understand if you don't care for songs about armies from hell marauding across the countryside, but you should, because its, you guessed it, awesome.



No videos yet, the record just came out last week, but that song is killer. It's like that part in bloodsport, when Van Damme's opponent pretends to be knocked out, and tries to sneak Van Damme, but Van Damme just elbows the dude, and knocks his gold tooth out. Just like that.

lastly,
Darkest Hour - The Eternal Return

These songs are exhausting they're so great. It's a fast record that doesn't take long to listen to, but it feels like running a marathon. While the other records are packed with evil, or rage, or murder...this record is packed with sheer...emotion and sadness, and legitimate anger at the state of things. Darkest Hour is an amazing band.



Again, no video, the record also just came out last tuesday. Not really like anything in Bloodsport. Just really, really great.

anyway, I know it's a pretty long post. I don't blame you if you found some of them abrasive. I hope you gave some of the songs a chance. I at least hope you found this post somewhat interesting. Even if you don't like this, at least be happy for me that this metal year has been very fruitful. You can at least do that, Can't you?

until next time

Keith