Tuesday, November 18, 2008

A Bold, Fresh, Steaming pile of "The Stuff"

There is this movie called "The Stuff". It's pretty awesome. It's about this...stuff, that these two hobos discover bubbling up out of the earth. Being hobos they eat some of it, and decide that it's delicious. Next thing you know, people are addicted to the stuff. It looks like whipped cream (which is quite tasty if you've never tried it), but it is so delicious that people eat it for every meal. It turns out that this...stuff is actually some kind of alien life-form that is taking over the world.

Now, I saw this movie when I was pretty young, but even then I didn't really think the idea of being enslaved by an alien desert product was all that terrifying. I thought, "how bad could these aliens be if they let us eat meals consisting of whipped cream?" Seriously, that would be the tits. But recently I was thinking about how easy it would be for me to be brainwashed...I know, quite a leap, right? But seriously, replace alien whipped cream with bacon, and I'd be so done. I would totally sell my soul to an alien piece of bacon, if the price of obedience was to eat bacon for every meal. Now, upon further reflection, "The Stuff" is a terrifying piece of cinema. If any evil alien race, or brutal dictator is able to create the ultimate food, we'd be sunk. The key to controlling people isn't to control their minds...It's to control their taste buds.

That is fucking creepy...Also, it's creepy that this alien life-form wants nothing more than to be eaten. Oh, my God. That is sooooo creepy. What a weird alien.

Which leads me to another thought...Space. Space is creepy. You know that guy? The one who talks about space and physics and stuff? Anyway, he says that the universe is expanding. See, I always thought that the universe was endless. If the universe isn't endless, then it's contained in a world, or something like that...But, what is that world in? Is it like a Russian doll? Jesus Christ...I think I just had a stroke.

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Thanksgiving is next week...Don't forget to thank somebody for something.

Keith