Ten things I learned from Predator...

1. Nobody, and I mean nobody, looks as badass smoking a cigar as Arnold.

2. Jesse "the body" Ventura is the greatest actor ever to live...and I quote "Y'all are a bunch of slack-jawed faggots...this shit will make you a goddamned sexual Tyrannasaurus." He's referring to chewing tobacco. He also, apparently, doesn't have time to bleed.

3. The nerdy glasses dude will always be the first person to get mangled in a mercenarial mission. It's science.

4. South America is scary.

5. When Carl Weathers and Arnold are in a room together, the only way to get rid of the excess manliness is an impromptu air arm-wrestling match. Don't know what that is? Watch the fucking movie.

6. Bill Duke likes Little Richard...and shaves without shaving cream. He's a man.

7. Apparently, native Americans are great trackers and, when faced with a Predator, prefer to take it on shirtless, armed only with a hunting knife.

8. In the jungle, you can cut a vine in half, and drink water from it.

9. If something bleeds, you can kill it.

10. GET TO THE CHOPPAH!!!!!