Hey all, you know what I hate? People who have conversations at the movie theater. I hate those people so much. Making the occasional quiet comment to a friend, or the occasional talking to the screen, I can handle that. Especially if it's funny. Like, when I saw Rambo and these dudes sitting behind me kept yelling at the screen...Now, that was pretty awesome, and I wish I could get them to record a commentary track for the blu-ray.
What I can't stand, however, is people who just ramble on at full volume. At least attempt to whisper, you dipshit. This rant stems from my experience at Friday the 13th yesterday. Now, this is a movie that cries for audience participation. Screaming, laughing...shit like that. But these two fuck-nuggets sitting behind me wouldn't shut up. Just having a nice little chat while I'm trying to focus on the suspense of seeing which young WB star is going to get murdalized next. I can't enjoy this movie with you chattering away about the most inconsequential bullshit in the history of inconsequential bullshit. Seriously...The movie barely lasts an hour and a half. Surely you and your dingleberry friend can go that long without talking about Grey's Anatomy, or whatever the fuck it was you were talking about.
I think there's a simple solution to this...I'm allowed to take a cattle prod into the movie theater with me. If anyone annoys me, I get to shock the piss out of them. Granted, I would probably abuse this newfound cattle prod power, but that's a risk I'm willing to take. People would probably be a lot less likely to talk about the great meal they had at Red Lobster the night before during a movie if the threat of a cattle prodding is looming.
One of these idiots' cell-phone also went off during the movie. This would be forgivable had the idiot in question not commented on the "Please turn off your cell-phone" jingle. So...you were reminded to turn it off...and...you clearly knew this...and...you still didn't turn it off? So...those sitting around you had to hear that shitty Metro Station song (a song so bad...don't get me started)? I'm...I'm getting pissed just thinking about it. My blood is literally boiling. There's steam shooting out of my ears. I'm turning into a hulk over this...Do you not know how to behave in public? Have you never been in a movie theater? Do you expect people to not be pissed at you? Or, do you realize this and just not care?...You dick...Maybe I shouldn't be given a cattle prod.
Overall, though, I'd recommend seeing Friday the 13th. It doesn't suck too bad. Jason is kind of a badass, like he should be. Man, I am all over the place.
On an awesome note, though. How about that "Inglorious Basterds" trailer? Pretty f'n awesome.
Keith
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3 comments:
I had about the same thing happen when I saw the remake of Halloween. You'd be surprised what yelling "SHUT THE FUCK UP" really loud, does in a situation like that. Seriously, doesn't hurt when you're our size and you stand up after it.
I thought the Inglourious Basterds trailer was amazing, I can't wait.
I think the Metro Station song tells everyone all they need to know about these kids.
It took three times to get these kids to slow down conversation. Twice saying "shut the fuck up," although, I'm proud of my first attempt... "All right kids, let's simmer down now." I like the tone and subtle implication that I'm better than them. Because I am.
I was at the movies a month or two ago and some obnoxious group of teen boys just kept randomly shouting profanity. It was so awesome when this middle age adult guy (not a very big guy) got up went over to the 4 or 5 boys and said, "that's it boys, let's go" and escorted then out. When the guy returned to the theater everyone started clapping for him. I have no idea why the boys left with him and didn't just give him shit (maybe they knew him or something) but I was impressed.
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